“I don’t want to be a nanny, but to pass on my story”: when grandparents take a vacation

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Parents are disillusioned when they see their own parents as less committed as grandparents than they imagined. The latter are demanding their right to free time after years of parenthood.

"We can't say that there was a time when all grandparents looked after their grandchildren," says sociologist Veronika Kushtanina. (Thomas Baron/Hans Lucas)

On sunny days, Simon, a 35-year-old HR manager living in Seine-et-Marne, reviews the summer vacation schedule with his partner. What to do with their daughter and son, ages 4 and 1? His mother is unable to look after a child. His father, who lives three hours away with his mother-in-law, insisted on looking after the eldest for a week in February and then in April. But for the summer? No phone call, no offer. "I learned from my brother that looking after her had been difficult, that it was tiring. They thought she played [more] on her own... She must be lazy."

Simon thinks back to his childhood. His grandmother lived nearby and didn't work. She would pick him up from school. At her house, little brioches with jam and Yabon, those caramel rice cakes, were waiting for her. Evening and morning, she was always there. The contrast makes Simon "a little disappointed and sad." "My father benefited greatly from the help of my grandparents when I was little and didn't do many activities with us. It's a bit like the baby boomer generation who enjoyed life, unlike the post-war generation who were still really striving."

Simon isn't alone in feeling this way. Parents share